


Considering the Risks

by Qwerty_Hargreeves_25



Series: Becoming Klaus [3]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Abuse, Anal Plug, Angst, Childhood Sexual Abuse, Dark, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Dialogue Heavy, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Extremely Underage, Gaslighting, Implied/Referenced Torture, Klaus Hargreeves Deserves Better, M/M, Parent/Child Incest, Physical Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Underage Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2020-01-13 16:36:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18472852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Qwerty_Hargreeves_25/pseuds/Qwerty_Hargreeves_25
Summary: Dead Dove, Do Not Eat!! Please read ALL tags before reading.Klaus has lived under Reginald's abuses for years, but he still tries to live a normal life. Or at least as normal as he can manage.





	Considering the Risks

**Author's Note:**

> Please read the tags for several (many many) trigger warnings.
> 
> We are starting to get further into the plot now, please keep any triggers in mind.

 

The whimper slipped out of Klaus’s throat despite his best attempts to hold it in.

 

“No, please, don't.”Klaus whined, his newly breaking voice as soft as he could manage while Sir Reginald pushed the massive plug further into his body. 

 

The hard, waxy wood floor of the training room made it difficult to maintain the hands and knees position Sir Reginald had ordered. Klaus could feel his knees bruising as he scrambled across the slick surface, fighting to remain upright. If he broke position without permission, then that was grounds for punishment. Klaus could not give Sir Reginald grounds for punishment. Not today. Klaus wouldn't put it past his father to start right there in the unlocked and distinctly not soundproofed room. 

 

He would do it just to see if Klaus was capable of staying quiet through the pain, under the threat of his siblings finding out. 

 

Secretly, Klaus suspected that that had been the intention all along. They rarely had Klaus’s sessions anywhere other than Sir Reginald’s office. There, any sadistic tool that the man could think up was within a few steps and the walls were properly insulated against the noise. 

 

The thud of flesh on leather clashed with rattling chains as Diego attacked the punching bag next door. The sound echoed through the otherwise cavernously empty room. Diego could be fairly oblivious when he was training, but it wouldn't be difficult to get his attention with so little noise to compete with. 

 

Klaus ran the numbers in his head, trying to distract himself from the feeling of the plug sliding further and further into him. The punching bags were at the back of the large room, but if Diego thought that someone was in danger, he would come running. There were only a few steps between the doors. He wouldn't have to make it all the way inside, just enough to open the door and see.

 

If Diego heard anything unusual, it would take him less than thirty seconds to get into the room. Less than thirty seconds to find out what Klaus’s ‘special training’ was. Less than thirty seconds to see what Klaus was. 

 

Klaus bit his bottom lip hard enough to taste blood, holding back a groan as Sir Reginald intentionally prodded the plug into his prostate to regain his attention. Klaus felt hatred burning in his belly at the sound of the low chuckle the older man let out. The mirrors covering all four walls made it nearly impossible not to see the ravenously gleeful look on Sir Reginald’s face as he stared down at the slender form of Klaus’s bared body.

 

Klaus screwed his eyes shut. 

 

“Do be quiet Number Four.” Sir Reginald murmured in Klaus’s ear, somehow plucking Klaus’s thoughts out of thin air. “Unless you want the others to come in right now? I think Diego is in the next room over. Why don't you call him? He could help.” 

 

The words sent a shudder of revulsion down Klaus’s back, teasing out a strangled gasp as Klaus instinctively opened his mouth to protest. 

 

“Oh, you don't want Diego here?” Sir Reginald asked, voice deceptively light as he continued thrusting into Klaus with the tapered point of the plug. “Why not?”

 

Klaus knew the answer to this question now, knew it better than his own name sometimes. Threatening to reveal Klaus’s secret was one of his father's favorite threats. It was also the one that Klaus was the most terrified of him following through on. 

 

Sir Reginald would do it, Klaus knew. He would spread Klaus out in front of his siblings, and show every last one of them what kind of pathetic deviant Klaus really was. Reginald would make Klaus beg, make Klaus cry, and then he would leave him, a broken puddle on the floor as a lesson and a warning to the others. None of his siblings would ever be able to look him in the eye again. 

 

“Please daddy,” Klaus said, the words bitter ash in his mouth as he took his turn in the script, “Just yours. Only yours.”

 

Reginald made a pleased grumble in his chest, and without preamble, slipped the plug the rest of the way into Klaus with smooth movement. Klaus’s breath caught and his back arched as the wide base stretched his rim until he was sure that he was going to cry out after all. 

 

He came back to himself a moment later, Reginald’s right hand pressed tightly over Klaus’s mouth as his left circled where the plug sat flush with Klaus’s skin. The stretch was intense- barely this side of bearable, but Klaus knew that he had had worse. 

 

A bolt of electricity sizzled up Klaus’s spine when Sir Reginald tapped it firmly, as if checking to make sure the plug wasn't going anywhere.The heavy black rubber jabbed into Klaus’s prostate with every breath, every movement. The small grinding movements made Klaus’s cock twitch and his thighs spasm as he fought to remain still. Klaus took advantage of the hand still covering his mouth to let out a small groan, sound muffled by the warm fingers. 

 

Sir Reginald let out another deep chuckle as he abruptly moved away from Klaus. “Leave it in Number Four.” Reginald ordered, Klaus cracked an eye to see him pulling one of the ever present handkerchiefs from his pocket. “I want you ready for your birthday surprise, after all. I have big plans and I am not going waste valuable time getting you ready again if you disobey me.”

 

“Yes dad.” Klaus muttered, eyes already sliding closed in resignation. “I’ll be ready.”

 

*****

 

It was impossible for Klaus to focus on anything. The feeling of the plug shifting inside of him was enough to drive him completely crazy. 

 

The sparring wasn't helping. 

 

“What is wrong with you today Klaus?” Diego huffed with a scowl. At Klaus’s lack of answer, he took a step back and dropped to sprawl carelessly on the mat next to the other boy. Klaus winced at the thought of even attempting the motion in his present condition. “Even you can usually break that hold.”

 

Klaus shook his head slightly, focusing on getting his breath back. Focused on letting the stiffness in his pants go down before anyone else noticed it. 

 

“Leave him alone Diego.” a tired voice spoke up from the sideline. Ben tossed one of the bottled waters at his side without looking up from his notebook. “Everyone has an off day.”

 

“Klaus never has an on day,” Diego huffed, but he let it go as he reached out, carelessly plucking the bottle from the air inches from his own nose. Screwing off the cap, he drank a few deep gulps before offering the bottle carelessly to Klaus, who took it with fingers that didn't tremble, even if only out of sheer force of will. 

 

“I know what you need Klaus.” Diego smirked darkly through the sweaty bangs covering his face. 

 

Klaus’s mouth went dry. “Oh yeah?” he managed after a moment, tension tightening in his stomach. 

 

“Yeah.” Diego grinned, leaping to his feet far too lightly considering the workout that they had just finished. Diego always had more stamina than the rest of them though. “Donuts.”

 

“Donuts,” Klaus stared blankly at Diego for a moment, the word not what he had expected at all. Finally, Klaus laughed softly, relief washing over him in a cool wave as Diego offered a hand to pull Klaus up. “Yeah, you caught me Di, I'm just jonesing for some deep fried sugar.” 

 

Klaus could see Diego note the wince and his slower than usual movements as Klaus pulled himself to his feet. Klaus chided himself, straightening up quickly, trying to act normally despite his discomfort. “You sure you're okay?” Diego asked with a frown. “I know you just got your ass handed to you and all, but I'm pretty sure even Dad could take you at this point.”

 

Klaus’s stomach lurched. ‘Nah, I’m fine.” He muttered, pulling his hand back and moving to brush a stray curl out of his eyes. “Dad had me up doing training at the crack of fucking dawn. I’m just tired.”

 

Diego nodded, accepting the partial truth easily enough. It was always easiest with Diego, who took so much at face value. “Personal training sucks.” 

 

“You're telling me,” Klaus snorted. “You're not the one he spent all morning ripping on.” Even if none of the others experienced quite the same training as Klaus did, it was generally accepted that any personal attention from their father was going to be unpleasant. 

 

They were rarely wrong. 

 

“Guys, are we getting donuts or what?” broke in a voice from the sidelines as Ben closed the notebook. With a stretch and a sigh, the smaller boy moved to shove the a battered tablet back into his backpack. “I need a break and I would kill for a lemon filled.”

 

“You're never going to get into an ivy league school with that attitude Benny-boy.” Klaus sang, grateful for the escape as he turned to move to the door. “and lemon filled? Really? All of the flavors in the world and you go for the trash fruit?”

 

“Watch yourself Klaus,” Ben laughed, shoving the other boy playfully. Klaus bumped roughly into Diego and barely resisted the urge to moan out loud as the plug shifted again. “At least it's not that white cream junk you get.” 

 

“Bavarian cream is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” Klaus replied, voice far more more flippant than he felt. “Come on, I have some cash in my room. If we hurry, maybe we can make it outside before perfect Luther senses us having fun and tells Dad.” 

 

The others never questioned Klaus’s source of money, thankfully. Klaus knew where his father kept the wad of bills that Pogo used to order groceries and supplies. He had seen it once as Reginald reached into his desk for some new instrument, and as long as Klaus was careful not to take too much at a time, no one ever noticed the missing money. 

 

Klaus did not want to be caught sneaking out of the manor again, not when his dad already had who knows what planned, but the temptation of donuts and a normal day hanging out with his brothers was enough to make it worth the risk. 

 

As long as they didn't get caught. 

 

*****

 

Griddy’s Donuts always smelled like heaven to Klaus. The sugary sweetness of donuts, and icing, and fruit jams, balanced out by the bitter tang of coffee. 

 

“It's our birthday today!” Ben announced, grinning shamelessly at the blonde woman behind the counter as they walked in, his dimples on full display. 

 

Ben was always the best of them at interacting with people outside of the family. The others had long since accepted this, often letting him take the lead- especially since Allison had recently decided that she was much too mature to hang around with her brothers and sister. Instead, she spent hours staring into the glossy pages of the forbidden magazines she had smuggled into the house. Klaus didn't consider it a great loss. 

 

Diego inspected the offerings like his life depended on making the right decision. Klaus didn't know why he bothered when he almost always ended up going with chocolate and sprinkles. 

 

“Oh, well that is special, isn't it?” the woman laughed, reaching down to pull out a plate. With a wink, she piled it high with their favorite confections, adding a candle to the top, which she carefully lit for them. “And how old are you today?” she asked. 

 

Ben’s face lit up like a light bulb. The only concession to their birthday at home was a small, practical gift and an extra quarter hour of quiet reflection time after dinner. Once, Mom had baked a cake, which their father hadn't let them eat. 

 

Klaus remembered the thick chocolaty flavor of the icing against his tongue, rich and sweetly decadent when he had snuck downstairs to steal a taste late that night.

 

He had thought his father had been sleeping. He thought he wouldn't be caught. He had been wrong, but it had nearly been worth it.

 

“Fourteen.” Klaus answered without thinking, wincing once the woman's beaming attention shifted to him. He always felt vaguely discomfited by her. He didn't trust anyone who was always that happy. He stepped back slightly, putting Diego between himself and the counter. 

 

“Congratulations. It's on the house today boys,” she pushed the plate across the bar to them, smiling, but with something slightly sad playing behind her eyes. “And you may each have a milk from the cooler. It's not every day that you turn fourteen.” 

 

Agnes was always so kind to then when they came to Griddy’s. Klaus suspected that she knew who they were. There weren't many families the size of theirs, and the uniforms didn't actually do much to hide their identities. She had never said anything, but they were constantly showing up with a wide variety of bruises and injuries and every time they did, Klaus caught something like pity in her gaze. 

 

He didn't know how he felt about that. 

 

Klaus grabbed the plate, pulling it close and carefully balancing it as he moved to one of the empty tables, loaded down with far more donuts than they could reasonably consume. He left Ben behind to make his apologies, and thank the woman for the food. 

 

Klaus winced as he slid into the booth, plug pressing painfully as he was forced to put his full weight on it. He desperately wanted to remove it, but it would only be worse when he had to put it back in later, and he knew his father's threat wasn't idle. 

 

Eventually, the pile of donuts were nothing but a smear of crumbs and sticky sweet icing. As Diego slid out of the booth, he polished off the last bites of his chocolate sprinkle. Ben had eaten only two donuts himself, and had long since retreated to the dubious entertainment provided by the leather-bound novel propped up on the sugar holder. He grabbed it, and moved to follow Diego out of the shop.

 

Klaus stood up, knees catching the table with a jarring screech, and sending his utensils rolling under the table with a clatter. Both boys turned back to stare at Klaus with a surprised eye. Klaus was rarely that clumsy, Reginald would never stand for it. 

 

Klaus couldn't take it anymore. His discomfort had only grown with each movement at the table. Klaus needed to take the plug out now, and he would deal with the repercussions later. 

 

“You two go ahead,” he said as Diego and Ben moved to help him gather the silverware from the floor. “I need to use the bathroom anyway.”

 

“We’ll wait.” Ben offered. 

 

“No!” Klaus barked, pulling back his panic at the last second and forcing a calmer face. Ben stared at Klaus in obvious concern. Klaus could practically see the calculations behind his eyes, and he spoke quickly. “Don't. It will be easier for two of you to make it back in than all three of us anyway. I'll be right behind you.”

 

“I don't know, there's something weird about you today Klaus,” Diego looked at him warily. “Are you sure? It's not a big deal. We can wait. There's still time.”

 

“No, no, I’m sure.” Klaus waved nervously, shooing them towards the door. “Really, I’m right behind you. I just need to use the bathroom. Alone.” 

 

‘Please, Di, just go.’ Klaus begged in his mind. He didn't know how long it was going to take for him to work the plug out, and there was no easy place it hide it in his uniform. Not anywhere his brothers wouldn't notice anyway. 

 

In the end, it was Ben who saved him. “Come on Diego,” he said, shooting Klaus a look that said he knew that something was going on, he just hadn't quite worked it out yet. Ben hooked a finger in the fabric of Diego’s sleeve, pulling insistently. “Klaus wants to be left alone, and if we don't get back soon, Dad's definitely going to notice.” 

 

“Alright.” Diego muttered at last, allowing Ben to drag him away reluctantly. “See you at home.” he called back to Klaus. 

 

Klaus sighed with relief as they finally walked through the door, turning instantly to hurry into the bathroom. He drew up short as soon as he opened the door. An older boy he vaguely recognized from the kitchens stood near the frosted window, breathing smoke through the thin crack. The whole room reeked of body odor and onions, and Klaus nearly sobbed in frustration. 

 

“Oh shit,” the boy cursed, fumbling the small white cigarette. “Where the hell did you come from?” Klaus didn't have the chance to answer before the boy was rambling, frantically gesturing Klaus closer and pressing the door shut behind him. “Look, please don't tell my Aunt. If she knows I was smoking in here, I'm fired, family or not.”

 

“No problem,” Klaus muttered, mind already spinning as he contemplated where else he could go to remove the plug as soon as possible. There was no way he was going to be able to wear it all the way back to the house and up the fire escape. “I won't say anything.” He turned to walk out the door, but the boy grabbed elbow, stopping him before he could take another step. 

 

Klaus sincerely contemplated breaking the arm, but his train of thought was broken by the blunt shoved in his face. “Seriously man, please don't. Do you want a hit?”

 

Klaus hesitated, not even sure why he was tempted at all. “What is it, exactly?” he asked after a moment. 

 

The boy’s eyes widened slightly, but he didn't pull away the blunt. “It's just pot dude. It's not laced or anything.”

 

“Right.” Klaus took the thin roll, careful not to lose his grip. 

 

He wasn't expecting the harsh kick of the smoke in his lungs. He had stolen a couple of his father's expensive cigars at one point, holing up in the attic and half hanging out of the window in fear of the old man finding out. They had done nothing but make him light headed and queasy. They certainly hadn't been as rough as this. Klaus barely managed not to choke as he passed the blunt back to the other boy. 

 

“My name is Ricky.” the boy said, leaning back against the grimy sink as he took another hit, apparently satisfied that Klaus would keep his mouth shut. 

 

“Klaus,” he said, nodding slightly. He could feel his senses getting slightly slippery at the edges. 

 

“That's a weird name.” Ricky commented, handing Klaus the blunt again. 

 

Without thinking, Klaus sucked in another burning lung full of smoke, managing to hold it longer this time before letting it out with a slight cough. “My mom picked it out,” Klaus said by way of explanation, forcing the words through his suddenly far too dry mouth. He could feel the seconds beginning to jar against his awareness, each moment a flash of awareness that didn't feel connected to the others at all. 

 

Slowly, he became aware of a new sensation. The pain and discomfort from the plug had eased. He could still feel it, of course, but only distantly. The hard rubber plug no longer felt painfully over large, even as it dug into him. Klaus moved his hips experimentally. He was okay. It almost managed to feel good. 

 

Klaus threw his head back and laughed. 

 

*****

 

The house was dark when Klaus returned. Creeping as quietly as he could manage, Klaus slipped through the heavy shadows, hoping against hope that his father had long since gone to bed. There was no chance that the man had not noticed his absence at dinner, and even less chance that Klaus’s failure to appear in the study at the designated time would be without consequences.  

 

He would deal with those when they came, but tonight, he needed his bed. He needed to sleep off the floating that still persisted from that last hit before he had reluctantly left Ricky behind, sprawled across a bench in the park. 

 

A lamp clicked on. “Where were you, Number Four?” 

 

Klaus flinched away from the unexpected light, cursing internally as he took in the gimlet eyed stare. Sir Reginald’s hands had returned to their steepled position beneath his nose, legs crossed as he sat rigidly in the red armchair. 

 

‘Fuck.’ 

 

*****

 

“Klaus! Where have you been?!” Diego’s voice was too sudden, too loud and Klaus had to lock his knees to stop himself from dropping to the floor of the hallway instantly. “Are you okay Klaus?” Diego asked, tone thankfully much softer. “Dad said you were on a solo mission, but it's been over a week. What happened?”

 

Klaus chuckled, but it sounded jarring even to his own ears, coming out somewhere between hysteria and a sob. 

 

Klaus had hoped that he would make it to his room without running into any of the others. He didn't think he could manage to be around his siblings at the moment. Not with his throat still raw, not while he could still feel the cold water and warm blood trickling down his skin in phantom rivulets. 

 

Diego put a hand on his arm, and Klaus jerked away by instinct. He couldn't stand to be touched right now. 

 

“I’m fine.” he said, after a moment, voice low as he looked past Diego to where Ben peeked down the hall from his own door way. “Totally fine.”

 

“You don't seem fine.” Diego frowned, taking another step closer.

 

Klaus began to creep backwards, retreating towards the hall bathroom. He needed somewhere he could close the door and breathe until his brothers gave up, until he could finally, finally make it into his own bed. Alone. 

 

“Dad had me doing training. Things got a little hairy. You know how he can be.” Klaus forced another laugh, attempting levity as his fingers frantically searched the wall for the opening to the doorway. It came out slightly too shrill, and Klaus’s chest tightened as Ben stepped fully out of his room, concern etched in every line of his body. 

 

“Seriously guys, it's fine, I'm fine. I’m just really uh… tired from the mission.” Klaus’s free hand gestured dramatically even as he crept backwards, feeling along the chipped paint on the wall with the other. “It’s all fine.”

 

Finally, his fingers caught on the rough wood of the door frame. Klaus nearly sobbed in relief. “Anyway, I've got to take a shower. I'll catch up later okay?” 

 

“Klaus, wait-” Ben was the one who spoke up, reaching out towards Klaus, which almost surprised him enough to stop his escape. Almost.

 

“Sorry Benny,” Klaus called as he ducked into the bathroom, closing the door behind him with a loud thunk. “I can't hear you, I’m turning the water on!” 

 

Klaus didn't bother to turn on the taps before he collapsed onto the toilet, letting his face press into his hands as he considered his options. He wanted nothing more than to crawl into his bed, and possibly never leave it again. 

 

If Klaus tried to make a break for his room any time soon, however, someone would be waiting. Probably Ben, Klaus decided as he stared blankly at the grimy tile floor. Diego would be concerned, but easily distracted. Ben mulled on things until he figured them out. He picked at loose threads until whatever mystery had caught his attention was unraveled in a pile at his feet. He wouldn't forget, wouldn't give up easily. 

 

God, Klaus hoped that Ben never figured it out. He would give anything, do anything, for sweet little Ben with the monsters under his skin to never ever figure out what Klaus was. In this, as with most things, Ben was the truly dangerous one. He had a habit of seeing right through you, and showing up at the worst moment if you overlooked him. Klaus was the only one, in the family or outside of it, who was never quite that stupid. 

 

Klaus’s eyes slid across the floor, coming to rest at last on the foot of the large porcelain bathtub. If he was going to be trapped in here anyway, Klaus decided absently, he should really take a bath. He couldn't quite bring himself to move. It seemed like too much effort, to drag himself across the floor, to undress and be faced with the remnants of the worst week of his life. 

 

So he stayed, still and small, waiting for his brothers to give up on him. 

*****

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Klaus has at this point been abused for at least two years. His thinking has been altered by Reginald’s constant manipulations. The shame and guilt that he feels over 'his secret' are unfounded, and he is not at fault in any way, but has been conditioned to feel like he is. This is an extremely common tool used by abusers to ensure that their victims do not tell others about their abuse. It can have lasting consequences, even long long after the abuses have ended.
> 
>  
> 
> \----------------
> 
> If you have any requests for further stories in this series please send me a review and let me know. If you don't want me to publish your review, include that fact and I won't.
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you to the kind people who have left me reviews on this story so far. We are getting into the plot of things now, and I appreciate you all very much. If you have speculations or requests, please let me know in the comments. They have already helped me think through deeper nuances of this story that I hadn't considered, and the story is better for it. I make no guarantees, but I will include any requests if I can.


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